February 27, 2003
10:08pm Thursday

I'M GONNA BATHE AND SHAVE AND DRESS MYSELF

Crap. I just realized there are even less days in this month than normal months, which means March is only a few days away, which means this year is a quarter over and I'm that much closer to death without accomplishing anything. In other news, I saw Danny Masterson from That 70's Show at the Glendale Home Depot last night while I was there for three hours buying sprinker system supplies, which only goes to show that even when you're rich, celebrated and famous, you can still wind up at the Third Worldiest Home Depot in existence buying toilet tank parts on a Wednesday night.

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I'm doing the Friday Five or whatever it's called. Here:

1. What's your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.?)

Honestly, and I don't really want to admit this, it's magazines. I read lots of them. The Hollywood Reporter, Sunset, Metropolitan Home, Natural Health, Shape, Pottery Barn (it takes time to get through, it counts), Vanity Fair, Inc., Elle Decor, This Old House... and these are just those I'm subscribed to. I own a lot of novels and I start reading a lot of novels, but unless they really kick ass I just wind up leaving them three-quarters consumed on my bedside table for six months.

2. What is your favorite novel?

Since I'm a modern kind of girl, I'll pick three: Microserfs was wonderful, The Secret History, Whoredom In Kimmage, and a fourth not-so-modern Travels With Charley. I'm leaving out every classic thing ever. God I'm dumb.

3. Do you have a favorite poem?

My beard grows to my toes
I never wears no clothes
I wraps my hair around my bare
And down the road I goes

4. What is one thing you've always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?

(or weren't too lazy to read:) All of Dostoevsky.

5. What are you currently reading?

Aside from Pottery Barn? Still The Lovely Bones. But I have to give it back to my mother-in-law in two days so I better get cracking. Really, I only have like ten pages to go. And I'm reading this hippy book by John Cabot-Zinn called "Wherever you Go, There You Are." Brilliant stuff. Really. Insightful. Stuff you'd never think of yourself. I signed up for yoga classes the other day, too. Soon my pits will smell and I'll be a bonafide hippy. Flower power, man!

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I was thinking today, while stuck in fricking overcrowded traffic trying to get on the 134 in Glendale, about whether or not anyone's ever written one of those back-of-magazine "We Locked Eyes In A Crowd - Who Are You?" columns to me. You know, one of those "Who were you, you who were standing on the corner at 10th and Main on Thursday night?" things. Like isn't it possible someone did at some point in my life and I missed it because I didn't pick up the LA Weekly with Young MC on the cover that one time? My whole life could be different now. My secret admirer might have been a land baron, or a shipping magnate, or a chain of restaurants kingpin. (Can you tell I'm broke?) Of course I thought about all of this after I turned to look out my window while singing at the top of my lungs only to find a really old lady staring stinkeyes at me like I was the super craziest. Admittedly, except for Grandma if she could get past the off-key singing, chances of a secret admirer are probably slim.

I think it's time to go start War and Peace.