Two
weeks since I last wrote! Good lord, are any of you left? I wouldn't
blame you if you weren't. So for today's entry I'll talk to myself
and hope you'll come back someday.
===
I
hope I can get through this entry without the baby crying. Each
afternoon I get to pick one thing to do while he's sleeping. Most
of the time it's sleep, too, or watch the new Real World/Road Rules
Challenge Inferno III, or write more g-d thank you notes, or look
up court documents on the woman who delivered my baby, but today
it's writing in SP. Now I'm finding that it feels seriously good
to be writing something other than "Thanks for the blanket!"
Here
are some random thoughts, which are all I have lately since I have
no short-term memory. Every day at lunch I watch a TLC show called
"Bringing Home Baby". It's funny because when I was dating
Gray I watched A Dating Story religiously, then when we were getting
married I watched A Wedding Story, then when pregnant A Baby Story,
and now there's Bringing Home Baby and you get the idea. Next it
will be A Potty Training Story or something. So every episode they
start with the hospital and the tail end of the birth and how it
went, and seriously nine times out of ten they go, "Because
complications arose, so and so had to have a C-Section." And
I moan at the TV. And then later in the episode 9 out of ten times
they go, "And she wanted to keep breastfeeding, but her milk
didn't come in and now she's giving the baby formula." And
these are both such bullshit things it makes me want to shoot all
the uneducated mothers out there, because what it tells me is that
if they haven't done their research about birth and breastfeeding
then they probably aren't going to be a good parent. It seems I've
turned into a granola hippy afterall. (C-Sections are unnecessary
most of the time! Ultrasounds can't predict fetal weight accurately!
Your doctor can check your pelvis and tell you with certainty whether
or not you'll be able to deliver the ten pounder, you don't have
to guess and give in to major abdominal surgery!) Okay, I'm done
for now.
Also,
up there I alluded to my midwife's online court documents. This
is a long story, one which I'll be able to tell at the beginning
of May, probably. Let's just say that my birth experience itself
was very cool, but everything surrounding it was filled will hellish
crazy drama. And also I better tell the birth story soon before
I forget it.
The
other night I went out to dinner with my friends, which was pretty
much the first time I've left the house in five and a half weeks
that wasn't for some kind of pediatrician or doctor's appointment
or for a walk around the neighborhood. We're keeping the baby in
a bubble until week six as to avoid germie germs, and yes my friends
are all laughing at me, but I don't care. No infant spinal taps
will be given to this kid.
So
I'm having dinner, and a glass of wine even (which my pediatrician
has okayed and I am savoring like the best tasting thing I've ever
had in my life), and I'm talking about various grose bodily things,
and one of the girls announces she's pregnant with #2 and we're
all happy, and another one is six months pregnant, and another one
has a 15-month-old (who by the way weighs only 6 pounds more than
my five week old baby, who is already verging on gigantic and has
6 chin rolls, so much for not getting fat on breastmilk), and it's
a fun time and I'm just gloriously giddy to be out of the house.
And then I go home and I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep,
and I think "Did I say that?" and then, "Did I answer
her question at all?" and pre-baby I'd come home from things
once in awhile and think about one weird thing I thought I'd said,
but this time I felt like I'd continuously spewed forth weirdness
but at the same time could remember none of it. So I just hope I
didn't make them all think I'm a deviant, but I have no way of knowing
because I can't remember. I'm so goddamned tired. Zzz.
So
far the baby likes the songs Fergalicious and also My Girl Josephine
by SuperCat. This is odd, genetically.
There
is absolutely nothing worth talking about of any interest besides
the baby going on in my life right now, so I will stop. Maybe paste
in a photo. And I hate to take photos of this baby so it'll probably
be really hard to find one. Ha.
And
right now I'm thinking nose and mouth are me, eyes are Gray, hairline
is definitely Gray, and crooked toes are all mine. Poor kid.
