April 17, 2002
5:35pm Wednesday

RID MY DIRTY MIND OF ALL OF THIS PRECIOUSNESS

Tonight we're off to see Big Trouble and Blade 2. People say BT is whack, but I don't get how it could be after seeing 10 months of crazy good trailers for it. And someone told me Blade 2 will make me throw up, so I'll put a plastic bag in my pocket just to be safe - the opening shot of Blade 1 almost made me die, so I won't rule out honking as a possibility. Did you know popcorn is free on Wednesdays if you're an AMC Moviewatcher member? Oh buttery corny goodness, I can't wait to taste you.

I blabbed on about something the other day and totally forgot to write about my nutso Saturday. First I drove 150 miles to a baby shower and spent four hours locked in a room teeming with too much estrogen (between the mothers to be and the recent mothers and the of-age ovulators I was really in the mood for a penis by the end of the party). We were all standing around drinking our iced teas and mimosas, ooohing at the cute baby-themed frosted cake (they were oohing, I just wanted to eat it) when we realized the mother-to-be of honor hadn't arrived. Someone said, "She's never late!" And as if on cue the grandmother-to-be said, "She isn't here because... she had her baby this morning!" How's that for drama? So we hung out and ate cake and watched the grandmothers open presents and someone in the room had the same name as me so when they announced our name and held up the present everyone looked at me and went, "Ooooh, ahhhhh, that's so cute!" and I had to point at the other girl and give her my props. My present was not cute so much as practical. But at least I'm more popular ­ they all looked at me first when our name was announced!

Okay then so I left the shower, hung out with my parents for ten minutes, and drove frantically back to LA at the speed of light. The fact that I've gotten a speeding ticket only once in my life on that route is a bloody miracle. I raced up the driveway, put Paul in his cage, grabbed Gray into the car, and we zoomed off to a birthday dinner in Santa Monica where I saw someone I hadn't seen in two years but nevertheless had to listen to the same exact stories. But I had an interesting conversation with somebody new about book proposals and how to submit to a particularly cool SF-based publisher, so that was good. And I see I already wrote the part about how my friend's movie is actually getting made in half a month. Can quasi-young people get Alzheimers?

Yesterday Gray said "What's that website where you can look up who represents people? Hookers For You?" Haha. (It's www.whorepresents.com, which they gently try to mask with capitalization: www.whoRepresents.com).

It's almost six. My friend is coming over in a few minutes when he leaves a meeting at ABC. Do you notice a pattern here? My friends are entirely too successful comparatively. Here's to coattail riding.