May 28, 2004
11:20am Friday

THIS IS A TINY TOWN AND WE DON'T WANT YOU COMING 'ROUND

We went to see Shrek 2 the other night, and movies in Burbank, California now cost $10 for an adult ticket. Unless you're a fan of the Darkened Theater Experience and all it entails (babies, cellphones, on-the-fly Armenian language translations), $20 is a shitload of money for two people to spend for two hours of mediocre entertainment. Imagine if you're dating -- you have that and dinner and maybe drinks! That could be over a hundred dollars in a night! I am much too frugal to be dating, apparently, so I better stay married.

===

It's overcast here, the June Gloom is in effect, and Paul is curled up at my feet and I'm drinking a nice hot cup of decaffinated peppermint tea because I've discovered that caffine makes me crazy, and life is good. Except for my back which is still out so much that I couldn't walk for a couple hours yesterday. I have never been to a chiropractor, but perhaps it is time.

===

And now, current news. Sarah Jessica Parker is going to do Gap ads starting in August. Here's Gap's rationale for hiring her: "Gap has always been about personal style, and no one better represents this philosophy than Sarah Jessica Parker." Is it just me or is Gap about everything BUT personal style? The Gap is about tens of thousands of people buying thirteen different kinds of shirts and six types of jeans. How is that personal style? It's practically a uniform.

Also, Mira Sorvino, 37, is getting married. To her actor boyfriend. Who is twenty-two. They've been dating for nine months. Taking bets here on how long it'll last. All I can say is I hope she had a good reason for leaving Olivier Martinez.

Also, Fantasia won American Idol, which is the only way it ever should have been. Lots was wrong with that show, but that was very right. Now move over, Macy Gray, your heroin needle in Ohio is calling you back home.

And also, seniors are still having sex, but they're not having safe sex. So if you're over fifty (which I guess is "senior" now? what?) and you're getting busy, use a condom, just like they taught you in your one-room wooden schoolhouse back in the 1800s. Apparently one in ten new cases of AIDS is acquired by someone in that age bracket. And Granny, you know you don't want to have to add an AZT cocktail to your regiment of statins, blood thinners, and hypertensives.

===

G4 did not sell. What do I do now? Start my own render farm? Ugh.