LIKE PUNCHING UNDER WATER YOU NEVER CAN HIT WHO YOU'RE TRYING FOR
I
haven't written for twenty-one days. Wow. Record. I blame him!
Someone
called him "husky" the other day. He thought that was
pretty funny, but then later refused to go in the pool without a
t-shirt on.
===
This
restaurant reviewing job is kooky. Let's just say I don't get paid
to go eat anything, I just get paid to write about it. And I don't
think I talked about my interview which was so techy-international
it was crazy. I'm here in Burbank, the company is in the Bay Area,
and the marketing director who interviewed me was in Jordan. Like
the country Jordan. We figured out that my 11am was his 9pm, so
when those times lined up I sat in front of my iSight and he sat
in front of his and he interviewed me over the internet via webcam
from like a billion miles away or however far the country of Jordan
is. And he asked me things like "What were the last three books
you read?" and "Where does Pinot Noir come from?"
and "If you ordered nan what kind of restaurant would you be
in?" And choker of all chokers that I am, I gave a couple of
really brilliantly lameass responses. And at some point in my life
perhaps I'll learn what I should have learned by age 10: Don't joke
around with people before you know what their personalities are.
I actually poked fun of this guy within 3 minutes of talking to
him, and then quickly learned that he was all business with no sense
of humor. I am genius.
===
The
dogs got summer crewcuts after all:
Pretty
much the main thing you see on B eans in this picture is golden
retriever weiner, but you can kind of tell the difference on Paul.
We found a discount dog barber, so they came back with big rows
of hair shaved off of their legs at strange angles, and Paul was
really surly for about a week. Having not met these dogs you might
think they're nice and obedient and sweet like the other 10 million
goldens in the world, but these two are different. The groomer gave
me a price range: "Sixty-five if they aren't matted and are
easy, seventy-five if not." I said, "I only want to pay
sixty-five, because I can go elsewhere for fifty-five," whereupon
she promised me sixty-five, and whereupon you now all think I'm
even cheaper than you already did for bargaining with a small business
shopkeeper like that. But when we went to pick them up and they
had each cost seventy-five bucks (!!) I said, "What happened
to sixty-five?" She goes, "It took all of us to do each
one." Because they're obnoxious, you see. I had to end up with
the only two non-docile and curmudgenoly golden retrievers out of
all the possible dogs in the world. Oy.
===
I
had my first bad mother moment last Friday. I was in the backyard
clipping vines and the baby was laying on the chaise lounge going
"Ba ba ba ba," and then the "Ba ba ba"s stopped
and were replaced with a thunk and then crying. I spun around and
there he was, face down in old rose petals on the hard saltillo
tile, with a bump on his head and a small cut over his eye. Who
knew that such a husky boy would be such a roller? Sad.
Also,
solid food has commenced with the introduction of sweet potatoes.
He loved them.
