For
my birthday the other day I got to take the baby to the ER because
he pulled my curling iron off the bathroom counter and down onto
his soft little hand. At first I was retarded and I thought it was
minor, so we put his digits in a glass of water for ten minutes,
which is what the internet says to do with a burn, and then we hopped
in the car and headed to SF for an art show. And then when we were
two blocks from our destination, Gray goes, "Pull over. You
should look at his hand again." And it was redder, and blistered,
and two inches long, and so I called the pediatrician's on-call
nurse, who at first was like, "Sounds minor, give him Motrin."
Then she read through her burn manual and was like, wait, did you
say it's almost two inches long? Take him to the ER! So we got all
freaked out and drove like the wind to the hospital where just as
I suspected they would, they put some salve on it and wrapped his
hand in gauze. Poor little baby, and dumb bad mama. They gave us
the cream and bandages to take home with us, so we're calling it
our $800 trip to Rite-Aid.
===
Things:
1.
The baby and I drove to San Luis Obispo the other day, also known
as the six-hour-round-trip day-trip. Thankfully he was very good
and was easily bribed with graham crackers, goldfish and milk. This
was not the case a little over a year ago when I did the same drive
from LA (SLO seems to be exactly in the center between southern
and northern California on the 101) when he was 5.5 months old and
he screamed for four hours straight. San Luis Obpisbo is a nice
town, and I wouldn't have met Gray if my childhood best friend hadn't
gone to Cal Poly and roomed with Gray's childhood best friend in
the dorms.
2.
I just heard about the funniest practical joke ever, which I guess
comes from the Kevin and Bean show on KROQ in LA. You might think
this is grose, so skip ahead to number three if you can't take it.
So some guy's girlfriend got a tiny new kitten, and he thought it
would be a funny joke to poop in the kitten's litter box and pretend
like the kitten did it. So he did, and it was huge, and when his
girlfriend came home and saw the poop in the box that was bigger
than the kitten itself, she freaked out, scooped it up and took
it to the vet. I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
3.
Pure genius lies below. I can't believe the cleverness of these
guys who took a line from that Matt Damon thing
and then turned it into professionally-polished this:
4.
We're moving again. For the second time in five months. To a place
here locally, not back to LA, don't worry. I'm still enjoying
having clean air in my lungs so if I never go back it's fine by
me. But I'd actually unpacked 95% of all boxes thinking we'd be
here for awhile, and now I have to pack them all again. Last time
leaving Burbank I was in total denial and didn't start packing
until about two weeks out, and this time we're one week out and
I packed, um, like two boxes this weekend. Man there's a lot to
do. It makes me want to empty the lime-flavored gin bottle just
thinking about it.
5.
I've talked about how the library here has pretty good new-release
CDs, and I've been a steady customer of them. Until I lost one.
Or the baby re-shelved it when I wasn't looking, or someone nicked
it from my pile post check-out, I'm not sure. But it forced me
to slink up to the counter on the day it was due and say, "Um,
I lost one of the CDs I took out." The librarian said, "Which
one?" And I whispered, "The Backstreet
Boys."
So now I have to pay $23 dollars to replace the Backstreet Boys
"Unbreakable" CD. Oh, the injustice. I hope if someone
did steal it from my pile that they at least really enjoy the
Nick Carter pictures.
On
that note, I'm going to see NKOTB next Friday in San Jose. (I
was invited; I did not pay good money for it.) I have no idea
what to expect except for lots of screaming, which will be lessened
with my Hearos.
It's funny, I think of little Joey
McIntyre as being little, like he's still 14, but I think
he's my age. I think an NKOTB concert will be a good opportunity
for lots of lime-flavored gin.
