It's
almost Halloween. Look what you can buy at Target!
I
don't even know what to say, except that if this were a real-life
scenario and not made out of velour, he would be arrested. Also,
this poor kid is going to get followed around by this photo for
the rest of his life. If he thinks the taunting is bad on his second-grade
playground, just wait until he gets his first car, walks into his
dorm room, rushes a fraternity, has a bachelor party, a fiftieth
birthday party, a funeral. I guarantee you this photo will never
go away. This is where mothers who aren't willing to sell their
kid for a buck come in handy.
===
Sometimes
I wish I had a comments feature, and this is one of those times
-- I really want to know how much money everybody paid for their
Radiohead In Rainbows CD. I will divulge that I paid a rather middle-of-the-road
US$9.20, but it's probably better than the US$2 you all thought
I'd pay. I can't wait to hear statistics about what the average
person offered when it was possible to pay nothing, and I wonder
which countries were cheapest, and I wonder if more people bought
it than pirated it because they could set their own price. I hope
they're tracking all the stats. I haven't listened to the whole
thing yet. It stands in line behind Annie Lennox, Elliot Yamin,
Kate Nash and MIA in rotation, and don't make fun of me for Elliot
cuz that boy can sing.
===
This
is shaping up to be a busy week and weekend. Tomorrow I'm driving
up I-5 where I will get stuck in ten miles of backed up traffic
because of the giant big-rig fire the other night. Is anybody else
suspicious (read: terrorism) of these big truck fires that keep
happening? First in Northern California a couple months ago at the
heinous Berkeley interchange, which was a traffic crippler, and
now on the 5 near Los Angeles in a tunnel which, at the right burn
temperature, could have compromised the integrity of the freeway
overpass above it and shut down the state's main artery for a good
long time. And like 9 of the truck drivers who escaped the fire
in the truck tunnel are AWOL. Perhaps it's just my little creative
brain going to town, but it all seems a mite sketchy.
Also
this weekend I will be attending the Franchise Expo
at the LA Convention Center. I know, bizarre. But I've always wanted
to be a fast food chain mogul, and this will be my chance to see
whether or not I really want to be a fast food chain mogul. None
of the good ones will be there, though. No Jamba Juice, no Subway.
Quiznos will have a booth, however, as will some pizza place called
Garlic Jim's, and I'm hoping it's a free sample bonanza. I'm bringing
my appetite and wearing my fat pants.
After
the Expo is a four-year-old's birthday party, which we're going
to instead of a beer-swilling Octoberfest party in Orange County.
My my how things have changed.
Also
this weekend is a play at the Geffen
starring Laurie Metcalf and Scott Bakula. I know some people out
there are apeshit for Scott Bakula. I am not one of them, but I'll
report back on whether or not he sports a naked torso.
===
I
got my first taste of baby milestone envy last week. I hung out
with a couple of friends, one who had a baby a week after me. Stealthpunch
Junior weights 25 pounds at 7 months, and her kid weighs 16 pounds
and is a week younger, and he looks like a normal baby. This is
how big Stealthpunch Junior is. My arms have never been this strong.
So while Junior is laying on the floor, because he can't really
sit yet for long periods because his head is so big, I watch as
this kid crawls over to the coffee table, reaches up and pulls himself
up to standing. I was like What the? And his mom was all, "Yeah.
He's advanced." So now I'm thinking that the beer I have almost
every night between when Junior goes to bed and when I dreamfeed
("dreamfeed" is new age baby lingo for sticking a boob
in his mouth while he's asleep to tank him up so he slumbers through
till morning) him five hours after it every night has made him deficient.
Should I not admit that I have that beer? Don't hate mail me, I'm
saving my conflict-strength for the war I'm still waging with AT&T
over the U-Verse situation.
===
I
had high hopes for the new TV fall lineup, but so far not much is
sticking. I already canned Dirty Sexy Money from my DVR list, I'm
about to axe Big Shots, I'm on the fence with Bionic Woman but it
will probably be discarded, I dumped Cane, turned off Back to You
in the first three minutes, loved the first Pushing Daises but for
some reason have not returned to it, I keep meaning to watch Friday
Night Lights since everybody says it's awesome but haven't yet,
and started on Journeyman but haven't continued. What I do like
are Women's Murder Club, Samantha Who?, Gossip Girl, Private Practice,
Carpoolers, and Chuck. And all I will say about Chuck is "Captain
Awesome". And all I will say about Captain Awesome is Ryan
McPartlin, and that if I saw him in person I would go blind.
I also have several Reapers stored and haven't watched them, but
hear it probably won't last. And I still love 30 Rock and The Office
with a burning passion. And where are you, American Idol? I need
you.
