I CATCH A GLIMPSE OF MY REFLECTION IN THE WINDOW BY YOUR BED
There's
my swollen albino crooked-toed foot lounging at the Burbank airport
on Sunday night, circa 11:30pm, waiting for the shuttle to take
us to the parking garage. We should've been home and settled by
about 7:30, but United Airlines sucks big fat donkey scrotums.
Not only was our flight delayed by multiple hours, but we had to
sit inside the sardine can plane on the tarmac for an hour and a
half while they found us some pilots who weren't over their hourly
flying limit for the day. Let's just say that for a claustrophobe
like me, it was sheer torture. And I would like to lay a special
curse on the people who recline their seats on tiny airplanes so
that what is an already small space becomes practically unbearable.
An even tinier United airplane seat in hot, hot hell for you, my
selfish friends.
Other
than the airplane shenanigans both coming and going (Gray missed
the whole first part of his college talk on the going-end because
of more United delays going from Burbank to San Francisco), it was
a good time. I started my stay by wandering around SF and paying
$10 for a chicken sandwich while watching all the too-hip young
people rushing to wherever they were going. Also, there are lots
of gay people in San Francisco - it is not a stereotype. We stayed
at the W Hotel, which is fancy and was paid for by Gray's company,
and at night after we came back from me filming what I think will
be a great segment of the documentary, we went looking for food
in the hotel cafe and had to wade through what I now understand
is the hottest bar
in town. And when you see young people trying to out-LA the LA bar
scene, it just seems preposterous and pretentious. So we went upstairs
and had expensive room service in our expensive room, and kind of
decided that we don't need to revist the W anytime soon.
The
next day we went to San Jose for another of Gray's engagments and
I hung out with one of my old college roommates who lives there
now, and that was fun. I ate a delicious hamburger with yam fries
at a place called The
Counter in Palo Alto, and then I went to a record store in San
Jose where I bought last year's Oasis CD and this year's acoustic
Erasure album, each for like $7.50. Nice.
Then
it was off to Half Moon Bay, which was as always very pretty. We
stayed in a great place with a bathtub with no caked drain hair,
and it would've been good to stay for like a week longer. Hotels
with big, cushy beds and lots of pillows are definitely underrated.
I
was trying not to eat carbohydrates and sugar in general during
the trip, because I had my gestational diabetes/blood glucose test
yesterday morning. It didn't really work out, though, and we managed
to have some of the best meals we've had in ages, from a great salmon
dish at a tiny place in Half Moon Bay to fish tacos in HMB at that
corner-of-the-street Flying
Fish stand, to a great omelet at an out of the way place called
NiNi's in San Mateo. And even given all that I only gained a pound
between last month's doctor's visit and this one, which further
proves my point that your body will do whatever the hell it wants
weight-gain wise when pregnant if you continue to eat at the same
level you always do.
I
don't have my gestational diabetes test results back yet, but I
will tell you that I almost passed out after getting my blood drawn
yesterday, which is bad for me but good for the documentary. And
since I don't think I've said what it's about yet, I'll tell you
now: Needle phobia. And it's funny but kinda serious at the same
time, and follows me through pregnancy and how I deal with my fear
of needles since I have to get blood drawn so much. It turns out
everybody and their mother practically is afraid of needles, so
it's making for some good interviews. So if you're in Los Angeles
and you pass out when you get blood drawn, or come close, email
me and you can be in my movie.
And
now that we're home, we get to turn right back around and drive
north again for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Yay! (Boo!)
